Alex Butterflying Pettyfer

Butterfly. Butterfly. Butterfly. (What's with the butterflies? Go read Colleen Hoover's Point of Retreat xD)

I.Butterflying.Love.You Alex.Pettyfer.

Caution: Severe Fan-girling post ahead.

By love, I mean deeply inlove (is that even possible?). My mind's filled with thoughts of you that I need to blog all about my love for you.

I don't care if everyone thinks you're a douchebag (that you have an attitude), as long as you make me happy with your acting, I can overlook that (we'll never even meet so that won't matter)!

Why is it that everytime I read a book that I think can be movie-material, I always wish that it will be you playing the lead?

1. Christian Grey (50 Shades) - Ok. Ok people. Fifty Shades may be overrated but when I caught sight of this pic, I instantly thought Butterfly, he can be Fifty! Though, of course I would not want him to have those sexy scenes (nuh-uh) and on second thought, I don't want all the girls fawning at him (as if they aren't now).

2. TJ Callahan (On the Island) - Now this one, I am fervently wishing to see (more than any other role). I think Alex can pull it off. Remember when he was really skinny? and how hot he looked in I am Number Four and Magic Mike?! Please please please offer this role to Alex!





3. Jace Wayland (City of Bones) - I know that he turned down Jace's role but in a parallel universe, I would have want to see him in this franchise. Even though I am not much a fan of the Mortal Instruments, I would accept any chance I get to see him on screen! And isn't it sweet that he was "offered" the role? When everyone else auditioned? I think MI' fangirls are to be credited for this (so fangirl power could actually work). If I were Alex, I would have turned the role down too, imagine the number of books in the series (six? seven? and counting)! He is a brilliant actor and being tied down to just 'one' image will hinder his acting career.

I wiki-ed him and I can't help but be awed on how many movie offers this man have (and he declined a lot)! You're doing great Hollywood.

So what brought this post? I was watching I am Number Four and I really really really loved it (his best movie for me)! I think it has become a new favorite of mine :D I hope they will make a second movie, the first kicked ass! I'll try and read the book but honestly, imo, the movie was way better than the book. lol

p.s. pics not mine

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Books

I remember back when I was still a child, one of my most prized possessions was a picture book of trees. During that time, my parents were not really the type to indulge in books (no fairy tales, no nursery rhymes books, no nothing), what happened was, everytime I see a book at home, I try to take a look at it, even if I can't understand a single thing (can you believe I was browsing through an accounting book back then? lol). I guess my frenzied reading now is the outcome of my book-deprived childhood, makes sense?

You can only read a number of books (but it is never too late to start now). I was mentally calculating if I can read a thousand books before I die and well, I think it will be a challenge I will accept :D

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Settling down

Before, whenever I was asked about what I want to do in the future (or what I want to be), all thoughts lead to:

1. I want to have a stable (and high-paying) job.
2. I want to travel the world.
3. I want to get married to an amazing man.
4. I want to have a nice home.

When you think about it, almost everyone dream of a future like this.

However, this morning, as I was eating breakfast, spreading raspberry jam and milk chocolate on a pandesal, I began to have this crazy thought:

I want to have my own raspberry farm! I want to spend the rest of my life in a countryside, away from the complexities of city life. I want my family to enjoy the simplicity of country life, to watch over our raspberries and possibly to make the best raspberry jam in the world (haha, seriously)! or to supply the freshest and best raspberries!

However, our home should have an internet connection (that I can not give up) and I think I'll spend a few years (five years tops) experiencing what life has to offer and then I will gladly give up everything :)

Anyway, I think I'm crazy for always talking about raspberries, but man, that raspberry jam got me addicted! haha.

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Danke.

Germany for making me proud. For making me realize how much I love you as a team. For making me cry.

You may not have made it to the Finals but I think this will make you even stronger and wiser (just like WC 2010).

Dang, you know how devastated I am with their loss? I think a part of me died. Let me tell you a story, I became a football fan a few days after Spain won the WC. Until a few months ago, I was a La Roja supporter. Then my continuing love for Mesut made me realize that I will support any team he is in. That prompted me to watch Germany's WC 2010 matches (I think that was a year ago) and truth be told, I was not that interested in them (only Ozil and Neuer caught my attention). I wonder then how will I ever warm up to this team?

Then came Euro 2012. Even if I only knew a few of the members, I was determined to support Die Mannschaft. As I search for German NT related stuff, I got to learn about the team and the members became somewhat familiar to me.

One thing I realize, Euro 2012 is the first big tournament where I felt that I was really a football fan. Meaning that I got to watch the games live and root for my team, the same way as the world does. Remember, I got into football after the WC games so I did not experience the thrill of it as it happens.

Germany was heavily favored as the winners. Even I thought that they will advance to the finals and face Spain. I was even contemplating on making a blog post about my Germany-Spain prediction. I was about to write that even if Germany's predicted to win, I think Spain still has the chance to beat them. Why? I dunno, experience perhaps? And also I remember watching their SF match during WC 2010 and I was surprised at how passive Germany seemed against Spain (I was not into Germany or Mesut that time). Sometimes, I felt that Germany is still lacking something (I can't pinpoint what that is).

And as we know the Germans lost to the Italians. Watching it unfold right before my eyes made me realize how much I have invested in this team. My heart was broken. My eyes were red and sleep evaded me.

I can't stomach seeing them so down. Especially Ozil.

My love for this man knows no bounds. He was one of the most affected by their loss. I wish he would not blame himself. He did great in this tournament. He was awarded twice with the MOM award and he scored that Penalty kick (which he deserved).

Another one who broke my heart was seeing Muller like the photo above. I wish Low made him start (it might've changed the game). For some reason, witnessing Mesut and Thomas looking so forlorn brings me back to their WC fate (it's as if these two bear the weight of Germany's loss the most). I know they wanted to do better than 2010 but sadly, it didn't happen.

Another guy who made my heart cry was Manuel Neuer. Man, even if their winning chance is already impossible, he never gave up. He went out of his box and charged down through Italy's field like a general in a war. It broke my heart and it made me love him more. Manu is such a great player. Even after the final whistle blew, he never showed weakness to his teammates, on the contrary, he was all over the place comforting them. It pains me that just when the whole team was running through the field like their lives depended on it, the referee blew the whistle. Can't he like wait until they made their final attempt?

Still, after all that has happened, we lost. There are no excuses for it. We were defeated last night and we should make that an experience worth remembering. Let it be the fuel for us to make history in the next tournaments (WC 2014, Euro 2016). We are a young team and as the years go by, our youngsters will accumulate experiences which will make them stronger. I am looking forward to seeing this squad a few years from now. They will surely be back with a vengeance ;)

p.s. I'm thinking how my love for Die Mannschaft is nearing what I have for Real Madrid. :P

double p.s. I do not own the pictures used, I got it from tumblr.

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The scariest thing

is the feeling that you'll die any minute and you can't do anything about it.

Last night, I felt so helpless, scared and lost.

You know what's scarier? It is seeing the worried face of your loved ones (mother, father, brother) and you can't even assure them that everything will be fine.

....

Past midnight, I told my mom that I was having difficulty breathing. I have experienced difficulty in breathing in the last few months or so but last night was the worst episode ever. Well, it wasn't really that bad but when I felt stinging sensations on my hands, fingers and mouth, I thought that what I'm experiencing was serious. All that time, my mom was asking me if I wanted to go to the hospital but I insisted that it will subside.

Then, the numbness spread all throughout my body. My stomach was feeling numb, my throat/neck, my feet, head, chest felt like they were being electrocuted. It scared me sh*tless. My fingers were all stiff and they looked deformed. That time thought I was about to have a stroke and that I may be paralyzed for life. My other thought was that I was about to die any minute. My mom was in hysterics telling my brother to wake someone up so that I can be brought to the hospital.

My thoughts while I was experiencing all these:

• how would it feel like seconds before you die? When you lose consciousness and the like? Would it hurt when I suddenly lost breathing?
• I can not graduate on time! I won't be able to finish my internship, I won't finish our thesis. My life is doomed!
• What was my last status in twitter? Would it be memorable enough to be my last tweet (really)
• Papa God, not now please, it isn't my time yet. I'm too young.
• Am I even supposed to think about these things when I'm about to die? Shouldn't it be full of flowers, etc?

We went to the hospital, I was loaded into a wheelchair (since I can't stand properly) and was observed. They gave me this brown paper bag to breathe into. And after a while my breathing normalized. The doctor told me that I was suffering from Hyperventilation Syndrome. It is usually caused by emotional and/or physical stress. She asked me if I was angry/upset with someone (and the like). 

I think it was the stress. I had at most 5 hr sleep the last few days, and that coupled with the stress from commuting from QC to Makati (and vice versa) everyday (which entails, standing on MRT rides, walking a great distance from the MRT station to my work place) took its toll on me.

After we went home, my brother made fun of me (he was trying to lighten up the mood) by reenacting my panic attacks. The thing is, I'm super touched when my brother supported me while walking (haha, in a rare display of sibling love). Even if he didn't show how worried he was, I knew deep down inside he was concerned. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

From now on, I'll try to live a healthy life. I will refrain from drinking coffee and milk tea. I will try to exercise more.  I would never want to experience HVS ever again.

p.s. I remember that almost a year ago (?), I experienced something like HVS. At the time, I thought na binabangungot lang ako. However, the symptoms are almost the same. Lesson learned: do not stress yourself.

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Some random caller

As I was reading an ebook (from my phone) last night (at around midnight), I was shocked to see someone calling.

What was more surprising was the number flashing on my screen:

0927-5**-4*3*

My thought: WADDAEFFF??? Why is my own number calling me?????!!! For a minute, I was honestly baffled (I thought my mind was playing tricks on me).

After I finally understood that it wasn't my number (the last digit was different), my mom asked me "why aren't you answering?". Against my better judgment, I pressed the answer button. The conversation went on like this:

Me: Hello? Sino 'to?!

Other line: Ahm, si Mark po.

Me: Sino ulit?

Other line: Si Mark po.

Me: Ahhh, okay. Teka lang ah...

And then I ended the call.

Mom: Sino daw?

Me: Mark daw.

Mom: Eh bakit mo binaba?

Me: Eh loko-loko lang yun eh. Boses tambay (sorry for being judgmental)

Mom: Kaw, malay mo si Mark Bautista yun

Me: ........

Mom: O kaya si Mark Herras (pasensya, kapuso Nanay ko)

Me ...

Mom: Sana kinausap mo, malay mo si Mark na kapitbahay natin o si Mark ... si Mark ...

Ako: *poker faced*

And then I burst out laughing (my mom did the same too). REALLY, sometimes conversations with my mom are so crazy! HAHAHA

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